SoBo Mama's Tips & Tricks

{July 31, 2013}   Oh, the Places You Will Go….

If I were younger, had no kids, had no husband, where would I be right now? Maybe a “cheap” apartment in the city, trying to publish bits here and there, scraping to pay the bills? Maybe. It’s hard to tell, since I’ve been a wife and mom most of my adult life. I’ve been focused on bills, my home, health insurance, the needs of my family since I was 22 years old. Not the vision I had as I crossed the stage at Municipal Auditorium back in 1994. So a part of me is jealous right now.

Another of my friends is going off on an adventure.

Crazymathlady and I became friends in a parking lot over a curse word and a cigarette. She says that was the exact moment she realized I was a normal person, not a stuffy English teacher type.

We were “baby teachers” together, at the same school, seeking alternative certification together. We suffered through LATAAP and our last Praxis test and celebrated with martinis, cheesecake, and mentors when we became fully licensed. She moved on to another school. I stayed behind a while longer.

While I drowned in RSD lesson plans, state surveys, and finally, adjusted to the 8th grade ELA curriculum, Crazymathlady began working on her Master’s Degree, and became certified to run a school.  I was trying to keep it all together at home, and in middle school, and she was growing professionally.

Jealous? Yes, I am a little. The monkeys still require a lot of my attention, attention I’d like to devote to furthering my education and career. I have to find money for karate and braces, not college courses.

But if I really examine my heart, I’m truly happy for her. She has worked hard and been through a lot to get to where she is.

Crazymathlady and I never lost touch, even as our careers took us down different paths. And, of all the cuckoo crazy things, bunco has brought us closer together. We have to spend one Saturday evening together each month. And because of that, we talk more frequently now. She’s always included when we grill these days, and she rode with me to pick up my new car. She’s an important part of my life. (And she worries that she doesn’t matter!) She’s in one of my neat and tidy boxes – I’m happiest with all of my friends close by.

Months ago, I knew she was dissatisfied with her job, as well as other aspects of her life. She’s traveled a bit the past few years and even when we were brand new to teaching, she was interested in an international career.

It took her awhile to tell me about Nigeria. She knows I don’t like change.

And I cried. Because I’m selfish and I want my friends in those tidy boxes and maybe I wish I had those options. I worry about her safety. I worry that she won’t ever come back. I worry that she won’t miss me. It doesn’t fit my pretentious (yes, that chick called me the P word!) nature to sit her down and tell her how much I’ll miss her, how important she is to my family, what an indelible mark she’s left on my life. 

The Realest Chick I Know and I co-hosted Crazy’s Bon Voyage Bunco. She and I, with input from Cuba (thank you, Pioneer Woman!! Love and miss you!), crafted a going away gift. I’m sure that Grizzly and Saint Yoda will cook meat over fire for her before she goes. Little things from a place of love.

Am I still envious of the Crazymathlady? A little. I don’t have the means nor the motivation to take “the road less traveled.” I don’t think, even if I had the option, I would spread my wings the way she is. I own it.

Am I excited for her? Wholeheartedly. This will be a life-changing, amazing experience for her.

It’s life-changing for me, too. Who will I call when I can’t help the monkeys with their math homework? Who will drag me out of my house when I don’t want to go anywhere? Who will kick my butt at Scrabble? Who will run the roads with me on the spur of the moment? Who will make me buy overpriced drawers?

Who is going to con Crazymathlady into attending Mass??? (Monkey #1 is gifted like that)

I think about all of these things as she sheds the tangibles of her life here.

Am I going to miss her? Every day until she comes home.

~ Katie

Posted from WordPress for Android


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